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Is it worth hiring a professional senior move manager or let the family handle the move?

3 Seat Sofa Recently our company was engaged in a project where the adult daughter hired us to move her parents living at an assisted living community from a one bedroom shared apartment and moving each parent into their own one bedroom apartment. The reason, the 87 year old Mom had dementia and was currently at the stage where she has become verbally and physically abusive  to her quiet and sweet husband.  

The daughter decided prior to our arrival that the three seater sofa would not fit in Mom’s new apartment along with the two extra chairs and end tables. She had scheduled us to take those extra items to donation. But while we were moving pieces of furniture from one apartment to another, Mom was having a raging fit that her sofa and all chairs and end tables were staying in her apartment. The 87 year old Mom was so raged she picked up an end table sitting in the hallway and brought it into the apartment.  

The apartment was crowded, but as we intervened, it wasn’t worth mother and daughter arguing over furniture. At least four times the daughter left the room crying.  Is it worth the yelling, screaming and getting Mom and the daughter so upset with each other over the removal of access furniture?

 I believe many adult children feel it’s my parents and I should be helping, but there is much better way for the adult children to truly assist and support a smooth transition.  As a seasoned senior move manager, if I were asked to handle this small transition from start to finish, I would have created a floor plan and involve the Mom and then ask the adult child(ren) to take Mom and Dad out to lunch, go get a manicure, and then to the grocery store for snacks. Have the family come back in two and half to three hours and it is all done. All would have been done with no one being upset.

It’s also about money. I believe the small cost of securing a senior move manager and their crew to provide this small move does outweighs the cost of high blood pressure, stress, and parent and child in conflict Last November we had a call from an adult son to help his parents (both in late 80’s) sell items in the home before they moved to independent living.

We met with the father on a Tuesday and learned his son arranged for movers to arrive the same week on Friday.  The father paid for two sons to fly into town from Colorado to pack and they were to arrive Thursday evening. There was no way the sons could complete the packing in less than twelve hours before the movers arrived on Friday morning.

I went home and changed my clothes and went back to start packing all the breakables and beautiful items they brought from Eastern Europe.

This couple had lived in their home for 41 years. One of the sons arranged for a dumpster and cleaned out the house during and after the move. It was a fast chaos for the whole family.   The day after the move, the father called me and said one son just threw everything into the dumpster including his most recent tax documents, his underwear from the dresser and the special dishes from Europe they used every day were sold to a liquidator.  

I went back to the liquidator and was able to retrieve all the dishes, but the tax documents and underwear were gone. The Dad said he wished he would have known about our services months ago.  

Is it worth the aggravation of not hiring a professional senior move manager with professional experience and resources?

Parents and children ponder thoughts of money, but when it all adds up and you put a dollar value to stress, losing valuable documents or fighting with your parents, Is it all worth it?  

Rita Woll

The Beauty of a Positive Indiana Senior Mindset

written by Tim Philpot:
 
As you reflect on your dreams, hopes, wishes and desires for the New Year, I hope you will consider the wisdom of this delightful piece. Enjoy.
 
 
“The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised mother-in-law of my best friend, though legally blind, is always fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coiffed and makeup perfectly applied. Today she was moved to a nursing home because her care-giver husband of 70 years recently passed away.
 
Maurine Jones is the most lovely, gracious, dignified woman that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told that her room was ready.
 
As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a description of her tiny room, with the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
 
“But you haven’t even seen it yet”, I said. “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how it looks … it’s how I arrange my mind.”
 
 
“I already decided to love it. Every morning I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.”
 
I'm Rita Woll and as an Indianapolis Senior Move manager, one who helps Indiana adult children move their elderly parents into a new stage of their lives, I loved this story. This beautiful woman has the perfect mindset: one that's focused on an understanding that although things are changing, they are being altered exactly they way in which they were meant to be.
 

If you're the caregiver of a senior citizen who must downsize from their current home, I'd love the opportunity to help walk you through the process while making the changes that are proper, yet also provide the most serenity and ease for all involved. I know how difficult and worrisome such a project can be, and I can help. Reach out to me at 317-514-9793 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. 

 

Get permission from your loved one before making changes in their life.

As a caregiver or family member of an aging parent or friend, many times we can sort out changes in the house, their schedule, their eating habits, shopping patterns and many other daily life activities, BUT, never make any changes without having a discussion and permission from the loved one first.

As we mature we want to stay independent. Don't take away the independence from the loved one without sorting out proper dialogue that makes sense to them.

For example, an adult child may come into their parents home having discussions on downsizing or moving. The parent is backing off because all they see is dollar signs on how much will the move cost and where would I live? In addition, being in a home of 10 to 40 years, the overwhelming burden and sleepless nights thinking how would they move everything.When adult children come to visit they might start mentioning to their parents how they don't need certain items like: china dishes from Great Great Aunt Mary or dining room set they no longer use for dining, but to put papers on.

Having discussions with the entire family which items in the home do the siblings want? Or, what items in the home are to be sold, like a collection of knives, paper weights, or art?  Conducting a household inventory digital and written documentation will set a record of items for the estate. In addition, gathering life documents in one binder in case of any emergency the caregiver and/or family member know where to go.

Our parents might be aging, but they still have a heart and a mind, and they defintely want their independence. I do!

So have a family gathering and get permission first on how they think you can help them.

Rita Woll, Senior Move Manager & Professional Organizer

There are several reasons you will need our services:

  • Passing of a family member or friend.
  • Final household clean-outs and gettng the house ready for the real estate market. Act as project manager for home renovations.
  • Home staging for active real estate showings.
  • Moving – Just packing or just unpacking at the new location.
  • Moving or downsizing an aging senior parent to independent, assisted living, or long term care.
  • Want to keep your aging senior parent in their home? "Age in Place". Re-organize and de-clutter. Safety is an issue.
  • Remodeling or Redecorating – packing breakables and clean and polish while unpacking.
  • Just organizing need for an extra pair of hands to help.
  • Divorce or separation.
  • Corporate employee transfers and relocations. No downtime for the employee relocation. Getting settled immediately.
  • Digitzing documents, photos, VHS tapes, slides. Preserving the memories.