Recently our company was engaged in a project where the adult daughter hired us to move her parents living at an assisted living community from a one bedroom shared apartment and moving each parent into their own one bedroom apartment. The reason, the 87 year old Mom had dementia and was currently at the stage where she has become verbally and physically abusive to her quiet and sweet husband.
The daughter decided prior to our arrival that the three seater sofa would not fit in Mom’s new apartment along with the two extra chairs and end tables. She had scheduled us to take those extra items to donation. But while we were moving pieces of furniture from one apartment to another, Mom was having a raging fit that her sofa and all chairs and end tables were staying in her apartment. The 87 year old Mom was so raged she picked up an end table sitting in the hallway and brought it into the apartment.
The apartment was crowded, but as we intervened, it wasn’t worth mother and daughter arguing over furniture. At least four times the daughter left the room crying. Is it worth the yelling, screaming and getting Mom and the daughter so upset with each other over the removal of access furniture?
I believe many adult children feel it’s my parents and I should be helping, but there is much better way for the adult children to truly assist and support a smooth transition. As a seasoned senior move manager, if I were asked to handle this small transition from start to finish, I would have created a floor plan and involve the Mom and then ask the adult child(ren) to take Mom and Dad out to lunch, go get a manicure, and then to the grocery store for snacks. Have the family come back in two and half to three hours and it is all done. All would have been done with no one being upset.
It’s also about money. I believe the small cost of securing a senior move manager and their crew to provide this small move does outweighs the cost of high blood pressure, stress, and parent and child in conflict Last November we had a call from an adult son to help his parents (both in late 80’s) sell items in the home before they moved to independent living.
We met with the father on a Tuesday and learned his son arranged for movers to arrive the same week on Friday. The father paid for two sons to fly into town from Colorado to pack and they were to arrive Thursday evening. There was no way the sons could complete the packing in less than twelve hours before the movers arrived on Friday morning.
I went home and changed my clothes and went back to start packing all the breakables and beautiful items they brought from Eastern Europe.
This couple had lived in their home for 41 years. One of the sons arranged for a dumpster and cleaned out the house during and after the move. It was a fast chaos for the whole family. The day after the move, the father called me and said one son just threw everything into the dumpster including his most recent tax documents, his underwear from the dresser and the special dishes from Europe they used every day were sold to a liquidator.
I went back to the liquidator and was able to retrieve all the dishes, but the tax documents and underwear were gone. The Dad said he wished he would have known about our services months ago.
Is it worth the aggravation of not hiring a professional senior move manager with professional experience and resources?
Parents and children ponder thoughts of money, but when it all adds up and you put a dollar value to stress, losing valuable documents or fighting with your parents, Is it all worth it?